Excerpt from the Seattle Times twice-daily column,
The Politically Correct Thing That You Are Required To Do While In Seattle:
"This 'people kill people, culture is getting out of hand in Seattle. Claims that don't kill people', just do not wash anymore", said aghast Pinko-Liberal Alliance chairperson, and popular socialite, Moot Eclaire de Point. "Sticks and stones will break my bones", Mz. de Point added. (Ed.: One may hope)
And from KOMO TV News:
Pooper scooper duel ends with attacker on the run
More Sticky Poop Violence Awash In Our Streets
By Jill Blocker KOMO News
SEATTLE, Wash. - A woman defended herself with a “pooper scooper” for nearly a half hour while a man tried to hit her with another pooper scooper in Plymouth Pilliars Park early Thursday, according to the Seattle Police Department.
Police say the woman was with her dog at the park, near Boren Avenue and Pike Street, around 2 a.m. when a man approached her complaining she was making too much noise, which he said was keeping his friend from sleeping. (Ed.: Plymouth Pillar Park Persistent Poop Peal Pollution?)
He then picked up a pooper scooper and began swinging it at the woman, trying to hit her, according to police.
Police say the woman also picked up a pooper scooper to defend herself, fighting off her attacker for about 30 minutes before being able to leave the park.